Her skin is white as mary's lamb.
A rare sighting.Like the blue moon.
Her goddess eyes have lost the glow that illuminated mariana's trench.
She is a lone wolf now.
Reptile at heart, Gazelle at flesh,
But a snake thinks whispering.
Waiting for it's prey.
A single embrace is all her heart yearns for.
Like the hungry newborn awaiting his warm milk.
How can anyone aid her? She vomits all the milk.
If it's not white it aint right! (lmao) Very descriptive, and a flattering poem. However, when I get to the end it reveals a different meaning and the whole poem takes a different route. It's like saying all the girl wants is to be loved, but she avoids all the love. If that makes sense. I like !!
ReplyDeleteWow I really like it! I like the line "Reptile at heart, Gazelle at flesh." It makes a lot of sense. The person is beautiful on the outside but on the inside they are cold blooded. I like, good job! :)
ReplyDeleteAh, I like your imagery. It's really great how you are able to take these images and give meaning to them. You're very talented in this way. I think you could have made it longer and put it in stanzas. Over all it was entertaining. It makes me think a bit.
ReplyDeleteEVERY ONEEE KNOWWWS I'MI NNN OVERR MY HEAD OVER MY HEAD WITH EIGHTTT SECONDS LEFT IN OVERTIMEEEE SHE'S ON YOUR MINDDD SHE'S ONNN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID
i like this peom alot. it has a nice flow and it is very descriptive.
ReplyDelete"Her skin is white as mary's lamb"
ReplyDelete"She is a lone wolf now. Reptile at heart, Gazelle at flesh."
I like a lot that you compared her to being like animals. The reptile at heart, that to me is deep and i like that line cause i think of her as vicious and cold, like a killer. But being a gazelle at flesh means that she does not play the reptile part. To me the heart is that looks can be decieving. And yet no one can save her from herself. i like it alot. better than mine :X lol
favorite line
ReplyDelete"But a snake thinks whispering. Waiting for it's prey"
This is a love poem i can tell .I guess its okay but its nothing new to me. Same old love poem .Maybe you should try a different theme
The Frail
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I can't choose my favorite line I really liked every single line. This poem has a deeper meaning to it. "A single embrace is all her heart yearns for. Like the hungry newborn awaiting his warm milk. How can anyone aid her? She vomits all the milk." I guess I can explain this part. What I get from this is, she longs for love like a newborn longs for milk but how could you satify her heart if when you give her love she throws it back at you, like a newborn would throw up milk. I really like that part. Good Job :)
Favorite line: "Her goddess eyes have lost the glow that illuminated mariana's trench."
ReplyDeleteI really liked this poem. It was different from other things I have read. He decribed this girl really well. If I were to pick two favorite lines I would also pick, "Reptile at heart, Gazelle at flesh." It shows that she is not what you think on the inside than she is out because she is cold blooded, but appealing like a Goddess.
Favorite Line: "A single embrace is all her heart yearns for."
ReplyDeleteI like the poem alot ! I actually had to think about every word you wrote in this poem ! Maybe you should of seperated the poem into stanzas ? but other than that, everything is good.
& I also like the part where you describe her eyes and how they shine so bright they light up the deepest trench. That's a beautiful piece of imagery. This poem is pretty :)
ReplyDelete